We don’t get much snow in North Carolina…we live in a place where everyone rushes to the nearest Wal-Mart for bread and milk the instant snow is predicted, even if there will be only two or three inches of that white stuff that frightens everyone here. ;) Our family, however, loves getting lots of snow, and we wait impatiently for it each year. So we were elated to see it start coming down on Sunday afternoon a week and a half ago. Of course, we decided to do a photoshoot with everyone except Maria, who was busy styling her newly-cut Zooey Deschanel bangs and putting makeup on. ;)

{I think I’ve finally found my editing style: cross processing. I love how colorful it is, without being too dramatic. What’s your editing style? Have you experimented with digital cross processing?}

Oldest is Bestest

I’m starting to turn into one of those people who is constantly pining for the past, for the eras when there was no such thing as the Internet or Apple. Don’t get me wrong – I love the web and all the graphic design I do…but as I read and learn more about the 1860s, I’m wishing more and more for that time when life was more peaceful, and when people had deeper relationships than they do now. We have more of an ability, with the invention of FB and other social media outlets, to be superficial; they didn’t have that same ability.

Duties of a Wife.

"A Subscriber" requests us to write a chapter upon a subject upon which volumes could be written and the subject would not be exhausted. Our "Saturday Nights" are not written at the order or suggestion of  others, but upon incidents coming under our own observation or within our experience, therefore written to the point.

But we will answer briefly, as well as we can, that "A Subscriber," and those who are not subscribers may understand the duties of a wife to her husband.

All depends much upon the husband, his character, ideas, manhood, and manner of evincing the same.

It depends much upon the wife, her habits, desires, abilities, and disposition. If the husband be a good, pure, earnest, loving, kind-hearted, affectionate man, doing everything in his power to make his home happy, and to provide therein comforts, conveniences and luxuries as he may be able, it is the duty of a wife to do all in her power to aid him. When a man is aided by some one who is true to him and whom he loves, he each day grows stronger, more plucky, and has given to him by this protecting care the ability, not only to make himself better and better, each day, but to make his home-ones happier.

If the husband be a good fellow – one of these men with a great big honest heart, but given to dissipation – who has more of a desire to spend the time which is valuable to him for rest away from his home, thereby leading himself steadily and continually, day after day, from those influences which made men good, it is the duty of his wife, if she loves that husband, to do everything in her power to make his home happy.

She must remember how she won him. She must remember how she dressed, talked, and acted when he was wooing her. she must remember that some things gave him pain; that some actions, or words, or ideas of hers made him happy in her presence. She must use all the home comforts with which she may be surrounded to the best advantage to make that home attractive, and by "management" seek to interest her husband in home, and let him know she is living for him more than for others. She should let him know that no person in all the world so loves and appreciates him as does she. When this idea takes possession of a man’s heart, he is not apt to throw it from him or to take chances outside of the sacred, beautiful influences of a home where lives one whose welcome is dearer to him than all on earth beside.

-From a Savannah,Georgia newspaper in February of 1871 (read the full article here:
http://www.askthecomputerwizard.com/blair/images/page119/Duties%20of%20a%20Wife.jpg)

We are much more apt to take life and comforts for granted; they didn’t have much by today’s standards, but valued what they had. We are all up-and-arms about women having the same rights as men; they understood that society would collapse if not for the gentle wives and mothers at home, and the strong husbands and fathers who lead the family. (I knew the following post would come eventually…it’s something that’s been on my mind continually for at least one or two years. =)  )

Our American society is horribly prejudiced, biased, and blind. I am completely fed-up with the continual discussion of racism, women’s rights, and gay’s rights. I am sick of hearing people commending women who live selfishly, putting their personal careers above everything else; of how being gay or lesbian is perfectly natural and should not be condemned in the least; of how we should continually beg our fellow Americans for forgiveness for the years of slavery, when those who held to slavery are long gone.

I hate the message that is always blasted into American girls’ ears that they owe it to themselves to go to college and grad school, to get a high-paying job and make their life as comfortable as possible. SINCE WHEN was that the highest priority?!? I believe in college. I’ve taken some college classes and would have even worked toward a degree if my college had let me do it when I was fifteen and if I had more money than I do. But I DO NOT believe that college is or should be the be-all end-all of our lives. I will not be getting a degree, because I really have no desire to. My greatest desire is to be married at a very early age (nineteen, what might you hold for me?! =D) and to have a household full of little boys. And I hate that I am already being looked down on for those goals, even by people who are related to me!

There is no shame in having a family. There is no shame in being single, if that is what the Lord has called you to. There is no shame in being a high school grad who is twenty-one, married to her sweetheart, with two children. I think there’s a reason that girls start liking guys in their teens – I think God intended us to marry around our teenage years. If you look at that past, most people married around that time. Even during the Civil War girls aged fourteen and fifteen were getting engaged. Why does that seem ridiculous now? Because teens are thought of as people who are not children, but most definitely not adults. They are not taught, not made responsible. So of course your average seventeen-year-old won’t be getting married for about ten years. And our society has helped with this by putting out the idea that your teen years are the years to sow your wild oats have just have a good time. It’s a shame.

Let the rebuke be preceded by a kiss.
Do not require a request to be repeated.
Never should both be angry at the same time.
Never neglect the other, for all the world beside.
Let each strive to always accommodate the other.
Let the angry word be answered only with a kiss.
Bestow your warmest sympathies in each other’s trials.
Make your criticism seldom, and in the most loving manner possible.
Make no display of the sacrifices you make for each other.
Never make a remark calculated to bring ridicule upon the other.
Never deceive; confidence, once lost, can never be wholly regained.
Always use the most gentle and loving words when addressing each other.
Let each study what pleasure can be bestowed upon the other during the day.
Always leave home with a tender good-bye and loving words.

-Hill’s Manual for Social and Business Forms, 1888

But on the other hand, those who condemn college and don’t let their sons and daughters chase their dreams are just as wrong as the liberal Americans. I’ve seen many homeschoolers who almost worship their method of teaching/learning, who don’t give their children the freedom they need. We can’t swing the pendulum either way – we have to keep it in the center. That’s why I so appreciate the way society thought in the 1800s. I have never read more correct views on the roles of men and women that are perfectly balanced and so sweet. My conclusion, then, is that what is old is normally best. That those tried-and-true ways and actions from years past are the ways and actions we should follow and do. (Obviously only as they line up with Scripture, though.)

Forgive the rant. I have seen these two extremes, though, from the liberals to the extreme homeschoolers, and had to get that off my chest. But I would love to know your thoughts, if you read all this and want to discuss it!

What are your thoughts on college, on families, on current-day America?