web analytics

Oldest is Bestest {But Snow Is Timeless}

Posted on: February 29th, 2012 by Hannah Beasley 5 Comments

We don’t get much snow in North Carolina…we live in a place where everyone rushes to the nearest Wal-Mart for bread and milk the instant snow is predicted, even if there will be only two or three inches of that white stuff that frightens everyone here. ;) Our family, however, loves getting lots of snow, and we wait impatiently for it each year. So we were elated to see it start coming down on Sunday afternoon a week and a half ago. Of course, we decided to do a photoshoot with everyone except Maria, who was busy styling her newly-cut Zooey Deschanel bangs and putting makeup on. ;)

{I think I’ve finally found my editing style: cross processing. I love how colorful it is, without being too dramatic. What’s your editing style? Have you experimented with digital cross processing?}

Oldest is Bestest

I’m starting to turn into one of those people who is constantly pining for the past, for the eras when there was no such thing as the Internet or Apple. Don’t get me wrong – I love the web and all the graphic design I do…but as I read and learn more about the 1860s, I’m wishing more and more for that time when life was more peaceful, and when people had deeper relationships than they do now. We have more of an ability, with the invention of FB and other social media outlets, to be superficial; they didn’t have that same ability.

Duties of a Wife.

"A Subscriber" requests us to write a chapter upon a subject upon which volumes could be written and the subject would not be exhausted. Our "Saturday Nights" are not written at the order or suggestion of  others, but upon incidents coming under our own observation or within our experience, therefore written to the point.

But we will answer briefly, as well as we can, that "A Subscriber," and those who are not subscribers may understand the duties of a wife to her husband.

All depends much upon the husband, his character, ideas, manhood, and manner of evincing the same.

It depends much upon the wife, her habits, desires, abilities, and disposition. If the husband be a good, pure, earnest, loving, kind-hearted, affectionate man, doing everything in his power to make his home happy, and to provide therein comforts, conveniences and luxuries as he may be able, it is the duty of a wife to do all in her power to aid him. When a man is aided by some one who is true to him and whom he loves, he each day grows stronger, more plucky, and has given to him by this protecting care the ability, not only to make himself better and better, each day, but to make his home-ones happier.

If the husband be a good fellow – one of these men with a great big honest heart, but given to dissipation – who has more of a desire to spend the time which is valuable to him for rest away from his home, thereby leading himself steadily and continually, day after day, from those influences which made men good, it is the duty of his wife, if she loves that husband, to do everything in her power to make his home happy.

She must remember how she won him. She must remember how she dressed, talked, and acted when he was wooing her. she must remember that some things gave him pain; that some actions, or words, or ideas of hers made him happy in her presence. She must use all the home comforts with which she may be surrounded to the best advantage to make that home attractive, and by "management" seek to interest her husband in home, and let him know she is living for him more than for others. She should let him know that no person in all the world so loves and appreciates him as does she. When this idea takes possession of a man’s heart, he is not apt to throw it from him or to take chances outside of the sacred, beautiful influences of a home where lives one whose welcome is dearer to him than all on earth beside.

-From a Savannah,Georgia newspaper in February of 1871 (read the full article here:

We are much more apt to take life and comforts for granted; they didn’t have much by today’s standards, but valued what they had. We are all up-and-arms about women having the same rights as men; they understood that society would collapse if not for the gentle wives and mothers at home, and the strong husbands and fathers who lead the family. (I knew the following post would come eventually…it’s something that’s been on my mind continually for at least one or two years. =)  )

Our American society is horribly prejudiced, biased, and blind. I am completely fed-up with the continual discussion of racism, women’s rights, and gay’s rights. I am sick of hearing people commending women who live selfishly, putting their personal careers above everything else; of how being gay or lesbian is perfectly natural and should not be condemned in the least; of how we should continually beg our fellow Americans for forgiveness for the years of slavery, when those who held to slavery are long gone.

I hate the message that is always blasted into American girls’ ears that they owe it to themselves to go to college and grad school, to get a high-paying job and make their life as comfortable as possible. SINCE WHEN was that the highest priority?!? I believe in college. I’ve taken some college classes and would have even worked toward a degree if my college had let me do it when I was fifteen and if I had more money than I do. But I DO NOT believe that college is or should be the be-all end-all of our lives. I will not be getting a degree, because I really have no desire to. My greatest desire is to be married at a very early age (nineteen, what might you hold for me?! =D) and to have a household full of little boys. And I hate that I am already being looked down on for those goals, even by people who are related to me!

There is no shame in having a family. There is no shame in being single, if that is what the Lord has called you to. There is no shame in being a high school grad who is twenty-one, married to her sweetheart, with two children. I think there’s a reason that girls start liking guys in their teens – I think God intended us to marry around our teenage years. If you look at that past, most people married around that time. Even during the Civil War girls aged fourteen and fifteen were getting engaged. Why does that seem ridiculous now? Because teens are thought of as people who are not children, but most definitely not adults. They are not taught, not made responsible. So of course your average seventeen-year-old won’t be getting married for about ten years. And our society has helped with this by putting out the idea that your teen years are the years to sow your wild oats have just have a good time. It’s a shame.

Let the rebuke be preceded by a kiss.
Do not require a request to be repeated.
Never should both be angry at the same time.
Never neglect the other, for all the world beside.
Let each strive to always accommodate the other.
Let the angry word be answered only with a kiss.
Bestow your warmest sympathies in each other’s trials.
Make your criticism seldom, and in the most loving manner possible.
Make no display of the sacrifices you make for each other.
Never make a remark calculated to bring ridicule upon the other.
Never deceive; confidence, once lost, can never be wholly regained.
Always use the most gentle and loving words when addressing each other.
Let each study what pleasure can be bestowed upon the other during the day.
Always leave home with a tender good-bye and loving words.

-Hill’s Manual for Social and Business Forms, 1888

But on the other hand, those who condemn college and don’t let their sons and daughters chase their dreams are just as wrong as the liberal Americans. I’ve seen many homeschoolers who almost worship their method of teaching/learning, who don’t give their children the freedom they need. We can’t swing the pendulum either way – we have to keep it in the center. That’s why I so appreciate the way society thought in the 1800s. I have never read more correct views on the roles of men and women that are perfectly balanced and so sweet. My conclusion, then, is that what is old is normally best. That those tried-and-true ways and actions from years past are the ways and actions we should follow and do. (Obviously only as they line up with Scripture, though.)

Forgive the rant. I have seen these two extremes, though, from the liberals to the extreme homeschoolers, and had to get that off my chest. But I would love to know your thoughts, if you read all this and want to discuss it!

What are your thoughts on college, on families, on current-day America?


5 Responses

  1. Emily says:

    I totally agree!!! (I almost yelled “amen” as I read your post =D)

    Just like you, I don’t really want to go to college–I would like to get married and start a family as soon as I can. But it seems that so many people look down on that nowadays. What I want to do with my life is looked down upon (but going into that would make a super long comment =D)

    I could go on and on but I won’t bore you with that :) But I will say that I agree with everything you said!

    • Hannah says:

      Haha! =D

      Yeah, it’s a shame that people have such a bias against those goals…because those goals are beautiful. Good for you for having the courage to be different! =D It’s nice to “meet” other like-minded girls. ;)

  2. Rachel Hipps says:

    My thoughts… :)

    I definitly want to go to college and get a job- and heck, high paying wouldn’t be so bad. Having lots of money is not a bad thing. You just need to use it properly and help others.

    I do not think that girls are meant to marry in their teens. I think it’s way to young to be having children. Sure, maybe in the 1800’s that was the norm, but this is 200 years later. the world changes, and we have to change with it.
    That’s my opinion, and I don’t expect anybody to agree with it. :) we all have our own views. :) I plan on getting a job, maybe going to college if everything works out, and seeing the world and going on a few adventures before I think about getting married. BUT- things change, so who knows. :)

    I’m also pro gay rights and think they deserve the right to marry and every single other right other Americans have.

    I just came across this post while looking through your blog. I love your photography and will now be following you. :)

    i would love it if you replied to my comment. i, too, like discussing things. ;)

  3. Hannah says:

    Sorry for taking so long to reply! Normally I love replying as soon as possible, but I’ve been so busy this week that it’s taken till now. =)

    No, there is nothing innately wrong with going to college. And there is nothing wrong with earning money. In fact, I’m working right now to re-launch my business so I can do just that.

    The problem comes when education becomes the be-all end-all of our existence. It has taken over the lives of many people and taken time from them that will never be recovered. But truly, more important than the discussion of whether modern college is a good or bad idea is this – what is the point of life? When you observe the earth and everything that is in it; and stare up into the sky and see the millions of stars and galaxies, knowing that we are in the midst of an impossibly expansive universe; that question comes to mind. The Lord made everything we see, including us. He created us to glorify Him, so the most central question in this whole debate is this – “Will doing (fill in the blank here) glorify the Lord, or will it bring dishonor to His name?”

    About gay rights – you and I both agree that we have set laws, such as laws against murder, correct? Those laws are in place to restrain the wickedness of men and to protect the innocent. Those laws could also be called standards. Just as our government has certain standards, so does Jesus. But the difference is this – the standards of our government will change from time to time, but His standard never will, because He is truth, and He cannot sin or go against His nature. One of His standards is that we may not sin. Impossible to fulfill, right? Yes, it is. And that is why He gave up his life for those who will be saved – so that we would be made righteous in the sight of the Father. Of course, believers still sin, but they are forgiven of that sin by Jesus’ blood. There is no such thing as undeserved forgiveness in the law, which is why Jesus died for us.

    All that to say, one of the sins that Jesus listed as the sins that many unbelievers practice is homosexuality.

    1 Corinthians 6:9-11 says:

    9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

  4. Hannah says:

    Some would say that text is unloving and unfair. But consider this. According to the law which demands perfect obedience, every single human that has ever lived deserves eternal death. Jesus, in His mercy, died for believers and gave us forgiveness when we were still dead in our trespasses and sins! We shouldn’t say, then, that it is unfair that not everyone will go to heaven, or that it’s unfair that those who actively practice homosexuality will go to Hell. We should see the mercy of Christ as a beautiful, unmerited gift that not one human on the face of this earth ever deserved. So instead of casting hate on gays, we should all realize that without Christ, we could very well be doing the same thing. No, realizing that truth does not erase the sin, but it keeps us humble and ever-grateful for Christ’s work. Without Him we are just as wicked and fallen as Hitler was.

    So that is why the sin of being gay must be confronted, yet each one of us must be filled with compassion and love for those who are sinning. Without Christ we could have been there.

    And frankly, in the long run it doesn’t matter what the American government makes legal or illegal when it comes to these matters – the highest standard is God’s law. When the government’s law coincides with His, wonderful. When it doesn’t, when something like gay marriage is allowed, believers must adhere to what Jesus said, no matter the consequences. We owe our love and allegiance to the Creator of all that is.

    Thank you for your compliment! And I appreciate the follow!

    This is a very important topic and I’m glad you’re open to talking about it. I’ve encountered so many people who will not listen or communicate – they’re only harsh and angry. I think it’s good that everyone give a listening ear out of respect. =)

Leave a Reply